Why do you do good deeds?

Guys, I don't really like the idea of "doing good deeds so that someday other people will do good to you" Do something good because you really want to, because that's the best way to live, not because you hope for the same good thing will bounce back to you later. If you are religious, do good because you hope for your God's blessing. He might reward you in this life, and He might not.

And sometimes we fall into the trap of arrogance without even realizing it. When something good happens to us we'd think "this is happening because I've been a good person". That thought can bring hazard to our faith, to it goes deep down to our conscience, the roots of our imaan.

We all know our God is The Most Loving. He'll take care of His Creature no matter what. Because HE.IS.THAT.GOOD. That's why you see so many disbelievers thrive in life while many of believer counterparts suffer. Do you remember Firaun the pharaoh? He killed so many babies, remember? Yet he was a very wealthy man,wasn't he? How come did God give him all that pleasure then? And also, if you do something good for the sake of hoping to turn your life better, you'll only get what you asked for. All of our deeds are defined by our intention. When you feed someone hoping that later someone will feed you back, guess what, a good deed that potentially has so much more reward than merely a worldly ease would go to waste. As we all believe (or at least try to), our life in this world is temporary and way too insignificant when compared to the afterlife.

Whenever you want to do something please remember to set your intention straight. The first hadith from Hadith Arba'in declared it pretty clearly: Deeds are by intentions إنما الأعمال بالنيات
Umar ibn al-Khattab reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

إِنَّمَا الْأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ وَإِنَّمَا لِكُلِّ امْرِئٍ مَا نَوَى فَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ فَهِجْرَتُهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ لِدُنْيَا يُصِيبُهَا أَوِ امْرَأَةٍ يَنْكِحُهَا فَهِجْرَتُهُ إِلَى مَا هَاجَرَ إِلَيْهِ
Verily, deeds are only with intentions. Verily, every person will have only what they intended. Whoever emigrated to Allah and his messenger, his emigration is for Allah and his messenger. Whoever emigrated to get something in the world or to marry a woman, his emigration is for that to which he emigrated.
(Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 54)

So with the right intention in mind you will hopefully get to learn to love people unconditionally. Even when you're being nice to people whereas they don't seem to return your favor, you wouldn't be so salty anymore.

Because you don't expect anything in return. You will not get as disappointed when the world isn't rotating around you. Cause spoiler alert, it isn't. It will never be. By doing that you give yourself a huge power to get through any difficulty: to allow yourself no longer be dragged down by the behaviour of people around you. Everything that happens in the universe starts to taste sweet. The times when dark clouds devour you and it seems the skies will never clear when the sun beams, while the rain falls, it can bring a bittersweet rainbow.

I like to think of it this way: I see myself as a lover to God. Have you ever been in love? Now tell me, what would you do if you love someone? You'll try to get their attention and to get to know them right? You'll figure out what they like and don't like, and do everything to make them happy. Even if previously you don't really pay attention for something, you'll do it still, just because you wouldn't mind it. Imagine this: you have a fit girlfriend that loves to go to the gym. You are actually not a fan of the gym but you'll try to go there with her, because you know, you hope that your girlfriend is happy that you take her passion as a consideration eventhough you don't intend to gain muscle or somewhat. It will make her appreciate you more. Whether you end up so fit or not is not a part of the equation. Cause she will appreciate your sincere effort to love what she does. And God is that kind of perfect dream-lover we all wish for. He is الشَّكُورُ, The Most Appreciative. The One Who gives abundantly in return for what was little. He is the One Who is the Most Appreciative because He appreciates even the smallest of deeds, all the time. And His appreciation is unlimited.


On the contrary, there's no way we can struggle for the sake of Him the way He deserves it. Heck, we couldn't even count our blessings from Him, let alone struggling. How could we think that our good deeds are what makes our life easier? Do we really think whatever we did before is good enough that what makes God return the favor? Honey, it probably wasn't.

Let's be real, we will never be a perfect lover. In fact, we could never even imagine the lengths we have to go through to even out God's blessing. That must not trap you in despair though, just remember that He is also الْوَدُودُ, The Most Loving. The One Who is the source of all love and affection. His Love is intense, constant and ever lasting. Al-Wadood is the One Who is deserving of all love and affection! Al-Wadood loves the believers more than anything we can think of.

He is العَفُوُّ, The Pardoner. The One who eliminates sins and faults. He is the One who not only forgives sins, but can completely blot out and make any mistake, error or sin disappear whenever He wishes.

He is الرَّؤُوفُ, The Most Kind. The One who bestows utmost tender mercy on the creation. He is the One whose compassion, affection, kindness and tenderness are beyond understanding.
Do not be sad and despair, because he never expects us to be perfect. He never said that.
We only need to try our best.

But you know, there's always that feeling that lingers in ourself saying that we could've done it better. It could always have been better. But that's not the point.
The point is to try our best.

Don't hesitate to aim high and strive for excellence. As Norman Vincent Pale once said:

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you'll land among the stars."

Okay this quote may not be super accurate because theoretically the moon is so much closer to earth than any stars, but I'll spare that for astronomy lesson.

Here is a quote from a Rainer Maria Rilke's poem titled The Man Watching:

When we win it's with small things,
And the triumph itself makes us feel small
Winning does not temp that man,
This is how he grows, being defeated, decisively,
By constantly greater beings

Thank you for being alive

I saw somebody died last week. He died because of cancer.

His final moment wasn't like what you see in movies, where everybody is gathering around the dying person and they are holding him while the person said his last words and then slowly exhale the last breath. 

It was that afternoon where I sat with his wife and talking about how she probably couldn't handle seeing her husband go away. 5 minutes later, he is already gone without someone even noticing. We tried in disbelief to find his pulse, I thought: I'm so bad at sensing pulse and heartbeat, right? Sometimes it's just hard to find any, isn't it? There's no way it would be this soon! My other friends rushed out to searching for the doctor, the wife screamed in pain calling her husband's name over and over again, hoping he still could hear us. The nurse came in to check, but it turned out there was no longer life in him. 

I could still recall this exact moment in my head until today. It always got me goosebumps just thinking about it. I still got the same chills in my bone.

On the next day I was in the mortgage, seeing the dead body being prepared for the funeral. I was there when the corpse has been cleaned and wrapped up with kafan, on the last moment when the family could see his face for the last time. I still recall how shaken the daughter was, when she cried over my shoulder. Everyone in the room shed tears, including me. Eventhough I am not the one who cry when people are around, I cried that noon. It's so painful to see their hearts breaking. 

What happened lately got me really wondering, what is it to live as if you might not be around the next day.

So often we just sit there and take for granted that we're gonna see people over and over again.

We don't really think about the fact that the day that we've been given is a blessing. We are so busy tackling our daily routines that we don't pause for a moment and say to the people we hold so dearly about how much their existence means to us. 

We often don't say that because it seems too much and too serious. It seems overly emotional. And yet really thinking about things and looking at the real perspective of life, 

the truth is

we really don't know that we have tomorrow.

So,

to the person reading this right now,

thank you for being my friends

I might haven't said it before, and you might not realize it,

but please know this:

I appreciate you. 

I'm so grateful of you in my life. 

You're such a blessing to me and anyone else around you

and regardless to anything, I'm so lucky to have known you. 

So no matter where you are,

whether it's a quarter mile away 

or halfway across the world, 

I'm glad you are there. 

Count Your Blessings

I actually should be studying for the exam right now. But my body refuses so I think I should write some thoughts that have been lingering on my mind these 2 days during my resting time.

~~~

"Haben Sie nie krank gefühlt?"

"Nein,gar nicht."

It's amazing how life can flip 180 degrees in one night. You felt great the night before, planning on your next day hoping you can be as productive as what you did today but plan is plan. We have no control on what happens next.

It does feel hard. It makes you want to go back and cry on your parents shoulder. But no, you have to learn. Problem isn't meant to make you hurt, to make you stronger that is.

When it seems like everything is against your will, think again. You've got one problem that suffers you a lot, fails you at any aspirations you had, but try to count your blessing. You still can breath normally, you still have food to eat, roof above your head, warm blanket to cuddle in. You got a loving family who prays for you all the time, friends who wish you a soon recovery. You aren't situated at the war places where you have to be afraid to be bombed every second of your life. You still can enjoy peace, being able to walk, to write, to read, to see.

The list still goes on.

Now that I think about it, I just realized how meaningful my name is.

Shakira is an Arabic female given name meaning "thankful". It is the feminine active participle of the verb شَكَرَ, "to be thankful".-Wikipedia

Maybe this is why my parents gave me this name. So that I remember to be thankful for everything that I have. To appreciate life, eventhough sometimes it sucks. Oh no, actually life doesn't suck. Its just a tiny tiny portion of it that sucks and human tends to make a big fuss about it.

If life seemingly becomes so hard, count your blessings. Be grateful. You feel crap because you just haven't been thanking enough.

"...Allah does not intend to make difficulty for you, but He intends to purify you and complete His favor upon you that you may be grateful."

[QS. Al-Maidah : 6]

Long Distance Friendship

Do you know that moment when you meet your old friend who you've been not seeing for along time? I am always having that anxiety questioning myself: 

Are they still the same person the last time I saw them? Do they still like me? 

I am afraid that everything has changed and they are not people I used to know.

October 2016

In October this year, I went home for holiday. I hadn't been home for more than 2 years, so again I was facing this anxiety, worrying if my friends in Indonesia have become people I can't really relate to anymore.

Luckily they didn't. As I saw them slowly approaching me laughing, I know they didn't. They are still giving me the same warm hug I'm missing. Those inhuman voices they make when chatting, how can I forget that.

Several years have passed but we continue talking about the same topics, laughing at the same jokes. 

It is funny to see my high school friends, who I used to met constantly everyday at the same place, now in different places. We are not doing the same thing anymore, we don't go to the same places, we don't read the same books. They are spread everywhere across the globe doing their own thing but they are still my loving friends I dearly cherish.

December 2016