A bit babbling before Ramadhan 2015

Photo from Pinterest and greenstar16.tumblr.com 

I have no intention to lecture someone about religion or stuffs. I'm aware that I'm short of knowledge. I'm writing this post because I feel the need to speak out my plan to the world so that will be my reminder if I'm going back to the old me. I found out that it really works to tell someone about what you're planning to do. A real example: I told my mom about my resolutions "how to stay educated without school" and I did it for a week and then I forgot it at all HAHA. And then a couple weeks ago my mom posted a status at facebook saying "does my daughter even remember her how-to-stay-educated-without-school- program?". After that I feel really ashamed of me and now I'm really doing it!

Anyway, it's 5 days left until Ramadhan and I'm looking forward to it because it will be my first time spending the whole month (and Idul Fitri as well) in Germany! WHOA!

Last year I flied back home to be with my dear family, so I don't really know how it feels like.
Sadly I have to say, I had no improvement at all since last Ramadhan. What a shame, right? I'm believing that Ramadhan gives us a great chance to upgrade our faith to the next level. But I've failed for 18 years in my life. Now I really want to make a promise with myself that I HAVE TO progress my own life in term of my devotion to God. He gives soooo many great things that I even wonder, what have I done to deserve it? Allah is so merciful.
All the time I was thinking, "you've done a great job Nada, your life is so perfect and you are doing nothing wrong". But no! Even when you think your life is as easy as a newly born baby, it doesn't mean you are not lacking something. It doesn't mean praying 5 times a day is enough.
Let's do some math.
I believe that we should have a balance for life. We have to spare 50% of our time to think about our afterlife. Remember: it has to be 50:50 to be balanced, isn't it?
We've been always busy with our job, school, college, or anything else. We have 24 hours a day.
We are trying so hard to get a good score in math exam so we might spend up to 10 hours studying, 6 hours sleeping, 3 hours for entertainment, and the rest 5 hours are for eating, talking with friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/anyone,and for praying. As if it's not shameful enough, it doesn't even take 10 minutes for each prayer! What a greedy human!
Some people will probably think, so you're saying we have to pray 12 hours a day to be fair to God?
Well,of course NOT.

The first point is, God already has literally everything so whether we pray or not, he "doesn't really care". Doing prayer, following His instructions,it's all for our own good. 
Just imagine this world as a computer. God is the one who designed it and we humans are the laptop user. God gave us books that leads us how to use the computer. When we don't follow the instructions well, our computer is technically getting broken day by day. Your computer is ruined not because The Designer hate you! It's just how the computer works!

My second point is, I'm not saying praying 12 hours a day is necessary. Actually, Allah, The Designer of everything, has arranged it perfectly that every single breath we take can also do US a favor. It means, we could do something both for our life on earth and afterlife. How cool it is! As long as we always set up our mind to Allah, everything's gonna be alright. 
Somehow it sounds so simple yet easy. 

Now perhaps some voice will raise again and say something like : It's really easy! I always think God all the time! Well, ladies and gentlemen....can I ask you, are you 100% sure?
Are you sure you're studying biology for God's sake, not for being a doctor and having big income?
Are you sure you choose to eat some lasagna because God will love it,not because the restaurant looks fancy and you haven't tried it yet?
Are you sure you bought a fancy watch for 500$ because the money worth it, while you're thinking million times to donate for an orphan girl?
are you sure you're praying wholeheartedly every single day only because you're following God's instruction, not because you want to get accepted in an university?

Now if you're going to scold me, please hold your horses, 
I'm that kind of person too!

Yes, humans make mistakes. It's okay if you're making mistakes, because who aren't? But the problem is: we keep doing the same mistakes all the time, aware that it is a mistake,do nothing to fix it and blame our state being human (who never be perfect and always make mistakes). Dammit, sometimes we don't think logically at all. 

Finding out that I'm such a low quality human (especially for aspect of piety), I have to progress. I may progress my study quickly, but in case of faith.... I have to try to change. I don't want to let this Ramadhan go away without any refinement. A quick reminder for myself: Hijrah does need PROCESS, but it needs PROGRESS too.
Just few simple questions to recheck my mind:
what am I doing?
for whom am I doing it? 
why am I doing it?
is it necessary to do it?
is it worth my precious time?
is it helping me to prepare a sudden death?

Guys, I'm literally getting goosebumps just writing it >.<

so here is my to do list!
1. Pray on time
2. Read Qur'an regularly (it doesn't have to be much,but regularly,every day)
3. Always say Bismillah for every activity I do
4. Don't waste too much time only for entertainment
5. Memorize an ayah a day, just 1!

Photo from fingularity.tumblr.com

I've realized it now, how much I envy other people...
I envy :
those people who never care about their appearance
those girls who feel satisfied enough having only 2 pairs of shoes
those teenagers who can prefer reading Qur'an instead of instagram feed
those volks who can't tell the name of celebrities but they can tell you thousand stories about Prophet Muhammad PBUH and his Sahabas
those people who never rush their prayer
those people who don't feel the burden to wake up at night to pray
those people who feel guilty instantly for a lightest sin
those people who can help other people easily, eventhough they're needing the same help,

Yeah, I envy them. So freaking much.

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