An Untold Love Story

I am not a romantic lovey dovey person, hence why I actually object to tell other people about my private life. Nevertheless,this time I feel like it's okay to share you guys some pieces, concerning that I have no longer deep feeling about it, as I already moved on and grown up ever since. This story is nowhere near a marvelous cinderella story, but it taught me something about my journey. It's a piece of mozaic in my life which shows me how much I develop, how far I've gone. I hope it will inspire someone who read it.

Well, if you ask me who my first love is, I'll state: I haven't been in love yet! Yes I admit that I was attracted to boys couple times, but I never took it seriously. It was all just a young girl's ignorance, willing to find love. But then I had a chapter in my book that means a lot to me.



A great pair of shoes
I actually always buy cheap shoes from H&M, Primark, etc. It turns out that I have to buy it again the next 6 months. You know the feeling when you love certain shoes but unfortunately it's already worn, but you don't want to buy the same shoes twice. Do you get what I mean? That feeling sucks!

That's why, I'm planning on getting myself a really nice pair of shoes that won't be damaged easily in one year. When you calculate it thoroughly, buying 100€ priced shoes that last forever is much more worth it than buying 5 cheap pairs that last only a year. So I'm browsing in the internet right now finding my dream shoes. It has to be classic and resistable with colours that are easy to be styled with.

I've made my own customized design at store.nike.com but I'm not sure yet. Sadly with customization it has to be pricier. Does anybody have this Nike Roshe One? It seems so comfortable to wear but I need your opinion. 

DSLR camera
I want it so badly! A nice camera is very crucial for a blogger like me. I need good looking pictures to spice up my posts and along the history of my blog I'm always using my phone camera or my friend's camera. I am not a photography expert but I guess having a dslr camera in my hand will help the visual of my blog a lot.

Anyway, I don't need a fantastic 7D Canon, a Canon EOS 600D might be perfect for a person with limited photography knowledge like me.


Survival Guide for Studying Abroad

I know, I haven't even started with my study. But I attended Studienkolleg for 2 semesters so I gathered some points for you based on my personal experience at Studienkolleg.

For your information, you who don't know how the German educational system works, here is some explanations:
The Studienkolleg is a public educational institution in Germany, Austria and Switzerland for students whose graduation certificate is not recognized as equivalent to the Abitur (high school level). It is a preparatory course for academic study at university.

Any foreigner who wants to study at german university has to study in Studienkolleg first. Here we are learning some stuffs like the other germans students when they are in high school. The purpose of this studienkolleg is to evaluate our school achievement at our own country, if it's good enough to study here. After 2 semesters of study we will face the Feststellungsprüfung (FSP), which is at the same level of the final examination of german high school students (Abitur). Basically when we passed the exam, then we can start to study here.

For me my time in studienkolleg is so precious. I had a lot of fun and I met a lot of new friends from other country. There we get to know so many culture with its own unique characters. The best part is: it feels like we go back to high school!

These are some tips and tricks to survive and also live your college life in abroad to the fullest.

Do not limit your friendship range based on nationality


How To Quit A Habit

Lately I've been successfully quiting some bad habits of mine and I'm really glad I did. What habit?
Well, if you ask my high school or studienkolleg friends, they would probably tell you that I'm a hardcire fan of Kpop. Let me tell you this, it was an addiction that I even wonder if I need a miracle to stop the addiction. But no! I don't think I received any miracle for this case.
So how to do it?

Tell your friends, or even announce it
It may sound cliche but you do need friends to support you quiting your bad habit. Let them know your intention, believe me, they will be a great help for you when you're at your lowest point, when you nearly give up. It will be also a self reminder for you. After declaring your plan to so many people, your self esteem will force you to stick to the plan.

Toss those stuffs away
When your habit is about a certain thing that you can't get rid of, you have to force yourself to throw it all away. Remember, nothing remains! We as humans can actually adapt so well with our circumstances. So if you're forced to live without it, you'll adapt no matter what!
In my case I deleted all Kpop songs on my phone and laptop. Songs, videos, pictures,movies and even my youtube and facebook subscriptions. If you want to quit smoking, throw all your cigarettes in the trash bin and don't leave a single cent for buying a new one. If you are a shopaholic, break your credit card into pieces! It will be so frustrating at first, but you need to be strong and carry on. Your friends will make sure you're not looking back.

Find a replacement
Quiting one habit means you have an empty slot in your life. Somehow you have to find something to fill that hole, to prevent the old thing from coming back. The substitution doesn't have to be your new habit. You need it just until you're fully adapted living without your old habit. Don't worry, it won't be hard to break a temporal habit. A habit you get in a short time doesn't take long to break it.
When I quit my job as a kpop fan I felt a little empty without watching dramas or listening to kpop songs. Then I decided to try watching american tv series, and I have to say, living without kpop is not that bad! Sometimes we have to go outside and have a taste of the grass on the other side.
You want to stop drinking coffee?  Then find something else to drink -something healthier of course- for instance try to drink tea instead. Watch out the amount you're going to take, less is better, to prevent another habit coming into existence.

No compromising
You have to be harsh to yourself to quit a habit perfectly. There's no giving up. It may feel extremely hard and takes ages to completely break your habit, but you need time. In the course of time your brain will slowly forget the certain path you had been walking on. Patience, that's the big thing.


A bit babbling before Ramadhan 2015

Photo from Pinterest and greenstar16.tumblr.com 

I have no intention to lecture someone about religion or stuffs. I'm aware that I'm short of knowledge. I'm writing this post because I feel the need to speak out my plan to the world so that will be my reminder if I'm going back to the old me. I found out that it really works to tell someone about what you're planning to do. A real example: I told my mom about my resolutions "how to stay educated without school" and I did it for a week and then I forgot it at all HAHA. And then a couple weeks ago my mom posted a status at facebook saying "does my daughter even remember her how-to-stay-educated-without-school- program?". After that I feel really ashamed of me and now I'm really doing it!

Anyway, it's 5 days left until Ramadhan and I'm looking forward to it because it will be my first time spending the whole month (and Idul Fitri as well) in Germany! WHOA!

Last year I flied back home to be with my dear family, so I don't really know how it feels like.
Sadly I have to say, I had no improvement at all since last Ramadhan. What a shame, right? I'm believing that Ramadhan gives us a great chance to upgrade our faith to the next level. But I've failed for 18 years in my life. Now I really want to make a promise with myself that I HAVE TO progress my own life in term of my devotion to God. He gives soooo many great things that I even wonder, what have I done to deserve it? Allah is so merciful.
All the time I was thinking, "you've done a great job Nada, your life is so perfect and you are doing nothing wrong". But no! Even when you think your life is as easy as a newly born baby, it doesn't mean you are not lacking something. It doesn't mean praying 5 times a day is enough.
Let's do some math.
I believe that we should have a balance for life. We have to spare 50% of our time to think about our afterlife. Remember: it has to be 50:50 to be balanced, isn't it?
We've been always busy with our job, school, college, or anything else. We have 24 hours a day.
We are trying so hard to get a good score in math exam so we might spend up to 10 hours studying, 6 hours sleeping, 3 hours for entertainment, and the rest 5 hours are for eating, talking with friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/anyone,and for praying. As if it's not shameful enough, it doesn't even take 10 minutes for each prayer! What a greedy human!
Some people will probably think, so you're saying we have to pray 12 hours a day to be fair to God?
Well,of course NOT.

The first point is, God already has literally everything so whether we pray or not, he "doesn't really care". Doing prayer, following His instructions,it's all for our own good. 
Just imagine this world as a computer. God is the one who designed it and we humans are the laptop user. God gave us books that leads us how to use the computer. When we don't follow the instructions well, our computer is technically getting broken day by day. Your computer is ruined not because The Designer hate you! It's just how the computer works!

My second point is, I'm not saying praying 12 hours a day is necessary. Actually, Allah, The Designer of everything, has arranged it perfectly that every single breath we take can also do US a favor. It means, we could do something both for our life on earth and afterlife. How cool it is! As long as we always set up our mind to Allah, everything's gonna be alright. 
Somehow it sounds so simple yet easy. 

Now perhaps some voice will raise again and say something like : It's really easy! I always think God all the time! Well, ladies and gentlemen....can I ask you, are you 100% sure?
Are you sure you're studying biology for God's sake, not for being a doctor and having big income?
Are you sure you choose to eat some lasagna because God will love it,not because the restaurant looks fancy and you haven't tried it yet?
Are you sure you bought a fancy watch for 500$ because the money worth it, while you're thinking million times to donate for an orphan girl?
are you sure you're praying wholeheartedly every single day only because you're following God's instruction, not because you want to get accepted in an university?

Now if you're going to scold me, please hold your horses, 
I'm that kind of person too!

Yes, humans make mistakes. It's okay if you're making mistakes, because who aren't? But the problem is: we keep doing the same mistakes all the time, aware that it is a mistake,do nothing to fix it and blame our state being human (who never be perfect and always make mistakes). Dammit, sometimes we don't think logically at all. 

Finding out that I'm such a low quality human (especially for aspect of piety), I have to progress. I may progress my study quickly, but in case of faith.... I have to try to change. I don't want to let this Ramadhan go away without any refinement. A quick reminder for myself: Hijrah does need PROCESS, but it needs PROGRESS too.
Just few simple questions to recheck my mind:
what am I doing?
for whom am I doing it? 
why am I doing it?
is it necessary to do it?
is it worth my precious time?
is it helping me to prepare a sudden death?

Guys, I'm literally getting goosebumps just writing it >.<

so here is my to do list!
1. Pray on time
2. Read Qur'an regularly (it doesn't have to be much,but regularly,every day)
3. Always say Bismillah for every activity I do
4. Don't waste too much time only for entertainment
5. Memorize an ayah a day, just 1!

Photo from fingularity.tumblr.com

I've realized it now, how much I envy other people...
I envy :
those people who never care about their appearance
those girls who feel satisfied enough having only 2 pairs of shoes
those teenagers who can prefer reading Qur'an instead of instagram feed
those volks who can't tell the name of celebrities but they can tell you thousand stories about Prophet Muhammad PBUH and his Sahabas
those people who never rush their prayer
those people who don't feel the burden to wake up at night to pray
those people who feel guilty instantly for a lightest sin
those people who can help other people easily, eventhough they're needing the same help,

Yeah, I envy them. So freaking much.


Belated international siblings day

Most of my girlfriends are jealous of me because I have a big brother. Because they say, our big bro will protect us, blablabla. Well, I can say I'm happy about it, but not really. I mean, there's a huge age gap between us. I was born in 1996 and he was born in 1989, so the 7 years of difference did affect our not-so-close relationship. We were not that close to share stories about our lovers or even friends, because it was just soooo weird. He's much older than me, and he is a guy, so I bet he won't understand the way I was thinking. We fought surely a lot, especially in those days where I always ask him to buy me food and when we always tried to hide our own snacks and never had intention to share it. Also when he finally got a girlfriend, I was literally mad at him because all he cares is his one and only girlfriend. I think that he deserves to be hated because he cares about his girlfriend much more than he does for the family. But you know, like any other little sisters around the world, I'm always proud of my brother. I always see him as a great boy, a great man, and I'll always will. Because like everyone does, I admire my brother.
What do I admire of him?
Here's the list

The reason why I admire my big brother

  1. His music taste is soooo great! He is the one who introduced me to rock music. When I was around 8 (and he was 16), I listened to his CDs every freaking single day. Sometimes I got annoyed because it was always loud in the house, but after he left the house going to the college, I felt extremely lost that loudness. The silence was just so odd, and in few months I feel so lonely along the absence of my brother.
  2. He is the only reason why I was allowed to attend elementary school although I was too young and I couldn't even read (which is the obligation for an etrance to an elementary school). Thank my bro, he got the highest score when he graduated from that school in our region so the school staff really thought that I must be as smart as he is and I can bring more profit for the school.
  3. Everytime I'm going to buy something technical, he is the one I'm asking sugestions to. I always buy anything he recommends without any doubt.
  4. He taught me to google, which has really changed my life.
  5. He is really tall, and he looks like one of my favorite anime character (sakura's bigbro in “Cardcaptor Sakura”). Well, maybe I'm too biased and overdoing it because he's my brother, but at least my mother agrees at that point and that's all that matters.
  6. He used to help me with homework, especially physics and drawing. He is really good at it!
  7. He piggybacked me when I was awfully sick, and I was obviously surprised because I thought a jerk like him won't ever offer to help piggybacking me whatsoever.
  8. One more surprise for me, that he tells his friends about me, like “my sister has won a national competition blablabla”. I dunno, I'm finding it so sweet of him!
  9. As I lived far away from home, we become closer at heart. Before the plane took off, he said me to be good, don't do inapproriate things, and so on. It was just boring and trivial, but the fact that HE did it, really made me amazed. Because he never seemed to care about me, and he used to be so cold hearted. Those cliché things he said showed me the bit warmness of his heart.
  10. Once I had a terrible problem with trust, and he had a really nice statement that makes me realize, although he seems so ruthless in his whole life, he never lose faith and always trust everyone he loves.
  11. The final reason why I admire him is......because he is my big brother!

PS : Do we look alike?


Open your eyes

I used to be that girl, who has a weird music taste. No maybe it's not weird, it's just because my music taste varies so much. When I was 9-12 years old, I listened to My Chemical Romance, Greenday, Linkin Park, etc (my bro's fault!). And my dad never got bored listened to Queen at the car . And then when I went to junior high school, my bro moved out to other city because he went to college, and my music preference has been widening since then. I listened to gothic metal,screamo,hardcore,deathcore,metalcore, whatever it's called XD I love it so much that I learnt to scream too. I love those musics soooo much, to the stance that my mom asked me to stop it and listen to 'softer' music instead. And I did it. Then I met my best friends at school, I started to listen to Kpop A LOT. But now I come to the state that I'm getting bored of it. And everytime I have no choice to listen to, I always have that loud music and I always enjoy it no matter how long has it been. Maybe because I discovered the music by myself and I was not influenced by other people listening to it? I dont know. You don't have to have a reason loving something/someone,right? It just happened.
Ok so let's get this straight. I'm actually not going to talk about my choice of music here.
I've been madly in love with several bands like Alesana, Asking Alexandria, Bring Me The Horizon for years, since I was 14. but I just listened to the songs, I never cared about members of the bands. Now that I'm getting older and my curiosity's getting worse, I browsed about the members of Bring Me The Horizon. And I'm literally inspired by their frontman, Oliver Sykes.
Here is some pictures of him, so that you can absorp it better what I really want to deliver.

What a badass,isn't he? He looks like a member of satanic band (like everyone else said) But no! You just saw a picture of him from an angle.
Let me give you another pic.

What do you think now? I believe, a person who possesed by a satan (LOL) can't smile purely like that :)
and then, there is this photo of him when he was young.

He happened to get bullied severely at school because of his music taste and the way he looked.

Now that we've digged about Oli Sykes only with few pics, the way we see him is changed instantly, right? Or is it just me? 0.0

well I have more facts about Oliver Sykes for you.
  1. He is vegan because he doesn't want animals get hurt. And I have to say, only people with really kind hearts can feel it that way, rite?
  2. He once addicted to drugs, but then he stopped consuming it and went to rehab and now finally he succeded to get rid of it. He admit it in front of many people as the band won APMA Award for the Best British Album of the Year. At that time he could actually hide it forever, what important is, he's already recovered. But he said, as he received such a great award, he felt like he has to confess to everybody for what he's been through,because he was so thankful of his new life. If you're interested, check out this link: Oliver Sykes at APMA
  3. When I watched videos of BMTH performance, I summed up that he really loves to be on stage, singing (or screaming to be precise) his feelings out, and he often smiles really bright because the crowd was singing along. Watch this video at 2:57 and see his expression >> BMTH Shadow moses live . How sweet! He is just like everyone else! Maybe sometimes he looks like a douchebag, but I think it's really unfair to judge someone by their appearance. He does have a body full covered by tattoos, but he has a kind heart too, who wants to be respected for his existence.
  4. Of course, he has negative sides too, but hey, who doesn't? And it doesn't really matter when someone says something like “but there are far more bad things he's done than the good ones!” Well, don't ever do the math. Why do we have to count each of their good doings and bad doings and then comparing it? Once someone does something for good, than it's good and we have to admit that. Doing such a meaningless thing like that really makes you deserve to be officially called out as a jerk.
  5. He is atheist. He believes that we should believe in ourselves and do whatever we want, building up our life to become what we want it to be. He also said that you don't have to be in any religion for doing something good. Well I'm not going to argue that, although I disagree at some parts of the way he's thinking. But it's fine, it's his rights to become atheist. It's totally not my business.
  6. He really loves his family. Maybe he loves his family even much more than any cute looking girls out there who likes to call their parents with bad words because the didnt get the newest iphone for birthday.

Sooo, what I've been trying to say through this post is, every single person in this world always have good side, they're humans no matter what, and humans have feeling. Eventhough someone has many tattoos, it doesn't mean that they're not worth to be respected, to be loved. No matter what kind of music he likes, how much he's addicted to drugs, don't hate. Spreading hatred just gives no good at all, and it would be really wonderful when people start to respect each other for what they chose. Spread love instead and always see everyone's positive side!

sorry Oli :D


16 Januari 2015

What a great day!

Hari ini tuh ASIK banget guyss. Pagi-pagi jam 9 aku udah keluar (tumben banget,mengingat aku udah lulus studkol n lagi ga ada kegiatan). Ngapain nad?
Jadi gini, kemarin sore aku pergi ke ATM Commerzbank,mau ambil duit dari ATM Mandiriku. Naah, awalnya aku udah coba di ATM Spardabank, tapi ga bisa -_-
Trus aku ke ATM Commerz,dan... kartuku ketelan. Raawwwrrrrrr.
Mencoba untuk tenang malamnya, aku pikir semua akan baik-baik saja. Besoknya kan aku tinggal ke Banknya,trus minta petugasnya untuk bukain automatnya. I got my card back, alles klar, alles schick.
Tapi ternyata semua BELUM baik-baik saja.
Besoknya (hari ini) aku datang pagi-pagi ke bank,daaannn... kata petugasnya mereka ga punya hak untuk buka mesin ATMnya. What the hell man? Aku ga habis pikir deh. Itu kan jelas-jelas ditempatin di banknya, dan katanya itu mesinnya bukan punya bank mereka, tapi punya firma lain. Trus aku tanya lagi, firma yang mane mbak? Trus dia bilang, das ist egal, kamu mau datang ke firmanya minta bukain itu mesin juga paling kartumu udah dibuang! Asjhdkjgalivgaztfuze!
Sambil mencoba untuk jaga ekspresi muka seramah mungkin, aku bilang makasih dan keluar dari bank itu. Apa-apaan iniiiiii T_______T
sampe diluar bank, aku ga tahan. Air mata langsung keluar tanpa permisi. Padahal itu di Marktplatz, yang rame banget. Aku udah berasa main drama aja.
Aku isi rekening deutsche bank ku gimana ini? Kan aku harus perpanjang visaaaaa ><
Setelah beberapa menit duduk nangis di marktplatz dan ngabarin papa kalo ATMnya udah ga ada harapan lagi (maafkan aku papa T.T), aku memantapkan tekadku kembali untuk melaksanakan agenda No. 2 ku hari ini : Daftar ASQ untuk jadi Gaststudent. Daaaannnn...ternyata tantangan hari ini bukan cuma masalah kartu-ketelan-automat-bego aja. Aku nyasar!
Padahal aku udah sering ke Löwengebäude, tapi untuk hari yang indah ini ternyata aku nyasar. Sepertinya otakku belum tenang sepenuhnya setelah kehilangan ATM. Astaghfirullah...
Untunglah, urusan ASQ di Löwengebäude cepat kelar. Semesterbeitrag pun udah ditransfer. Okayyy Nada you did at least a great job!
Dan setelah itu aku pergi ke Baumarkt,beli karton untuk pindahan. Dan itu tokonya masya Allah jauh banget ampe rasanya aku udah nyampe Köthen -_-
dan...aku nyasar lagi. (which is no wonder at all, because I even forgot where the Lion-Building is)
Geez. That was lame. I translated “Löwengebäude” to english “Lion-building” and when I read it now it sounds ridiculous.
Setelah jalan kesana kemari nyari tokonya, thanks to Google Map, I found it! Dan aku beli 3 karton. Langsung bayar serta merta,udah ga ada waktu lagi soalnya,berhubung belum shalat dzuhur dan waktu dzuhur di winter itu singkat banget. ew. Ternyata masih ada ketidakberuntunganku yang tersisa, aku kehilangan satu karton. I lost it! It costed 2 Euros each! And the store is located out of nowhere! Masa aku harus balik kesana lagi x(
Di perjalanan pulang, apa lagi? Tentu saja, tram dan busnya penuh supaya perjalanan nada tambah menyenangkan. Ugh.
Hal menyenangkannya belum sampai situ saja, bahkan beberapa pasang mata melihatku dengan aneh,bahkan ada yang keliatan TAKUT. O ye.
You know what? You know how it feels? You know how awkward was it, when I went in the store and they're accidentally playing a radio and it was telling about muslim terrorist and P*gida (anti islam) and everyone in the store just stare at you?
Dan yang buat aku marah, aku pernah baca status di facebook yang isinya gini “alhamdulillah mereka dibunuh”. WUT. I mean, are you serious? You're telling people that you are a proud muslim and you said stupid thing like that? Not only you (whoever who wrote the status), but to those two people too, who killed people because their prophet is mocked. Whoa, did they even think?
Pertama, I know you love Rasulullah so much. I know. And maybe my love towards Rasulullah is not as rasant as yours. But no matter how much it is, it doesn't mean you are allowed to take someone's precious life!
Image muslim, yang beberapa tahun belakangan ini semakin baik, jadi hancur begitu saja karena ada orang lugu yang membunuh orang karena dia membela Rasulullah. Dunia Barat yang sebenarnya sudah mulai menghormati keberadaan islam, jadi berbalik arah dan tidak respect lagi dengan Islam. Islam yang sempurna, yang dengan semua pengorbanan Rasulullah SAW yang sudah menegakkannya, runtuh image nya di mata dunia. Bukannya Muslim itu rahmatan lil alamin? Rahmat untuk seluruh alam? Tapi kok justru ada muslim yang membunuh? Kok ada yang bersyukur karna ada yang terbunuh?
Dan satu hal lagi. Ada yang bilang gini, “jutaan orang meninggal di palestina tapi dunia diam saja. 12 orang meninggal, tapi seluruh dunia gempar dan menyatakan berduka. Bahkan pimpinan muslim juga ikut-ikutan”
Bagiku sih, pemimpin-pemimpin itu tidak salah kok. Justru itu tindakan yang mulia! Istilahnya nih, air tuba dibalas air susu. Subhanallah, kalau orang-orang lain menyadari itu, mereka pasti jadi ngeh kalau Islam itu indah banget. Itu yang diajarkan Rasulullah SAW kan?
Setelah kupikir-pikir, emangnya pernah ya, Sahabat-Sahabat Rasulullah yang membunuh orang (bukan di peperangan) karena ada yang menyakiti Rasulullah SAW. Ada nggak? Perasaan nih, Rasulullah bahkan dilempari kotoran, tapi tidak ada Sahabat yang bertindak konyol seperti orang yang di perancis itu. Ya kan?
Kalau kita mencintai Allah dan RasulNya,ya lakukan apa yang diperintahkan dan jauhi yang dilarang. Udah. Period. Titik. Punkt. Ga ada yang ditambah-tambah. Kalau kata orang papua,
tra usah bikin gerakan tambahan!

Disini, aku minta maaf ya kalo kata-kataku ada yang nyelekit. Soalnya ini uneg-unegku belakangan ini, ditambah lagi pengalamanku yang sangat super hari ini, semua uneg-unegku itu harus dikeluarin hehe.

Jadi, kesimpulannya, dear muslims, behave! Kalau kita muslim, kita harus tunjukkan pada dunia akhlak yang baik, soalnya mata dunia semua tertuju pada kita sekarang. Watch your words, don't let it be sword to stab yourself. Mau jihad? Aku juga mau.
Jaman sekarang ini udah ga efektif jihad dengan senjata. Jihadnya dengan otak, skill, kecakapan. Katanya mau tegakkan khilafah kan? Kembangkan kemampuan kita semaksimal mungkin. Cuma baca n hafal Al-Qur'an itu ga cukup, cuma ritual ibadah itu ga cukup untuk membangkitkan khilafah. Khilafah butuh politisi hebat, ahli medis cakap, ilmuwan jenius, pendidik kompeten, bahkan artis yang berakhlak, bukan cuma ustadz!
Dan satu lagi, bagi muslim yang lagi di eropa, yang sama-sama merasakan suasana tidak enak ini, tetap semangat! pas

Sekian celotehan dari saya.